College Semester Gifts

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

Computer Room.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Do your research!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"One year closer to college!"

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

University Soapflakes

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"My homework ate my dog."

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Now showing, at a University near you...

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'