Finishing First Semester Pillows

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Computer Room.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

Do your research!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

Now showing, at a University near you...

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Super Student

Examinations.

"When did Shakespeare die? Well it must have been a couple of days before his funeral..."

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"I started a collection!"