First Semester Pillows

Computer Room.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Do your research!

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Now showing, at a University near you...

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

Pull an all-nighter?

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"How'd I do on the test?"

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'