Start Of A New Semester Pillows

'You can't take the Ethics course-you're a Political Science major.'

Welcome to the Fall semester new roommates!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

The best PE teacher in the World.

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

Don't you hate...

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

Only two months since school started. How long do you get off for summer break, Rudy? Oh, months and months. Just to kick back, sleep in late, have a great time with zero responsibility. Waaaa. Introduction to sarcasm. And I get tons of recess.

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Welcome back students.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I didn't plagiarize. My muse must have."

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

School Days

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."