End Of Semester Gifts

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."

'To cheat or not to cheat that is the question!'

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

'No I don't have scissors you can borrow.'

'Yes, that person there...'

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

"How'd you do on your test?"

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

'A computer virus ate my homework.'

Do your research!

Student wants to be excused...for the semester.

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'