Fine Print Decipherer Gifts

"Now promise not to laugh when I read you the fine print in the policy."

Don't forget to read the small print.

Insurance Man, "It covers you for everything except fire, accident, illness, loss, personal injury and death."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

"What's this part about 'busting my kneecaps'?"

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

Megastore. Your money back only if not completely unsatisfied. Wait a minute --- Let's think about this.

"We'll have your parts in three days."

"I'm sorry, madam, but the use of our toys by a child voids the guarantee."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Fine Print Letters

IKEA Book

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"Let me just check the brochure... No, on this model, the wheels are an optional extra."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"You may enter, doctor, if you can read this prescription."

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

Maze of legalities.

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

Shipping contract.

ACME INSURANCE COMPANY, 'Of course, the death benefits don't apply if it's the Government that kills you.'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

Contract Mouse Trap

"You may read the small print Mr Hill, but you obviously didn't read the microscopic print!"

Descartes School of Philosophy.

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."