Fine Print Decoder Gifts

"And I brought along my lawyer to read the fine print."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

Information vs. confusion

Don't forget to read the small print.

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Uh

Fine Print Letters

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"Yes, our ad said no salesman would call. I'm a sales-bot."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Let me just check the brochure... No, on this model, the wheels are an optional extra."

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"Oh dear did we neglect to read the contract thoroughly?"

'That's where we at the fine print.'

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'What the large print in this contract gives you, the small print takes away, and then some.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

"The little one? That's for small print!"

"You didn't read the fine print. This roach spray attracts them."