Fine Print Explorer Gifts

"Oh, don't worry about that, it's just the grey area ..."

'All this health insurance stuff is literally making me ill! I'm just sick about it all!'

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."

Building Society - How much interest did we get?

"Tell me about your travel extras."

"Let me just check the brochure... No, on this model, the wheels are an optional extra."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'Maths is fun!'

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

"It's scary how empty I feel inside. It's Easter, but I'm feeling like Hollow-een"

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"Are you there now, Linda? Are you in that happy, safe place that brings you peace and assurance, and deep contentment?"

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

Paranoia Clinic

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Fine Print Letters

First you say I should "know thyself" and then you tell me to extinguish my ego!

Uh

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."

'They're encyclopedias, Timmy... They're an early form of Google.'

"No one understands me."

Turtle to counselor: 'If you don't mind I won't lay on my back.'

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

"I've never really felt comfortable in my comfort zone."

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

In a twist on "It's A Wonderful Life," sometimes I wonder what the world would have been like if I HAD existed.

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'