Fine Print Navigator Gifts

"The advice was free. But the office visit was a hundred bucks an hour."

'If the small print just locks me into the sweltering airtight hellhole that is the service agreement, we're in business.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

New music conference

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Musical Bicycle.

Homeless count.

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

Uh

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Fine Print Letters

Musician's Fishing Trip

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

First violinist has an 'MVP' sign on his chair

"C major 7, F major 7. . . and that's been the story of my life."

Conversation Starter Kit

"Let me just check the brochure... No, on this model, the wheels are an optional extra."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

'Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my key'

'What the large print in this contract gives you, the small print takes away, and then some.'

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"I'll do the dishes as soon as I finish learning how to play the piano."

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

Guitars