Newsprint Navigator Gifts

'The paper just happened to fall open to the 'Position Wanted' section.'

New US tariffs...

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Computer Expert

"I am not asking for directions."

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

New music conference

Network Extending from Buttonhole

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Titanic: How's my steering.

Newspaper suicide.

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Do you have 4G up here?'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."