Fine Print Scrutinizer Gifts

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Don't forget to read the small print.

Uh

Fine Print Letters

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"Let me just check the brochure... No, on this model, the wheels are an optional extra."

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

"Yes, our ad said no salesman would call. I'm a sales-bot."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Oh dear did we neglect to read the contract thoroughly?"

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

'What the large print in this contract gives you, the small print takes away, and then some.'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

ACME INSURANCE COMPANY, 'Of course, the death benefits don't apply if it's the Government that kills you.'