Fine Dining T-Shirts

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

French Army Knife

'Of course I care for you. You're the most expensive woman in my life.'

"And don't try to pull the old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"You're in for a treat—Gregor awoke this morning from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a killer tapas chef."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"This martini in canonical."

Zagat-rated.

"This one's rubbish as well."

"Waiter, I'd like to order, unless I've eaten, in which case bring me the check."

"Your meal will be out shortly. The salmon was a little wilder than we anticipated."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

The wine and water lists.

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'True, money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cognac, fine cigars and the company of beautiful women, and these make me very happy indeed.'

"Ah, Doctor Jekyll, Table for two"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'I'll need to see a financial statement before you can order.'

'This must be their seasonal menu. These prices are scary!'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

"With his augmented reality headset he's actually eating in a five star restaurant."

Wine tasters...

'Don't bring me anything younger than my liver.'

'I'm sorry, sir, well done isn't an option - we close in twenty minutes.'

'Steak knife please, Phil.'

Dog Returns To Hunter With Bottle Of Champagne

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Fresh pepper spray?"