Fine Dining Gifts

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

French Army Knife

'Of course I care for you. You're the most expensive woman in my life.'

"And don't try to pull the old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine."

"You're in for a treat—Gregor awoke this morning from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a killer tapas chef."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"This martini in canonical."

It's a Gordon Ramsay recipe, so if you don't ****** like it you can ******* off.

Zagat-rated.

"This one's rubbish as well."

"Waiter, I'd like to order, unless I've eaten, in which case bring me the check."

"Your meal will be out shortly. The salmon was a little wilder than we anticipated."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

The wine and water lists.

'True, money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cognac, fine cigars and the company of beautiful women, and these make me very happy indeed.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'I'll need to see a financial statement before you can order.'

"Ah, Doctor Jekyll, Table for two"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Wine tasters...

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

'This must be their seasonal menu. These prices are scary!'

"With his augmented reality headset he's actually eating in a five star restaurant."

'Steak knife please, Phil.'

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

Dog Returns To Hunter With Bottle Of Champagne

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

'Don't bring me anything younger than my liver.'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'I'm sorry, sir, well done isn't an option - we close in twenty minutes.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"