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"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Convenience.

Kid doing cave paintings

Rodin's Browser

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Maria Sibylla Merian

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Mammoth Posing

Antiques

The drinker.

The drinker.

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

Art for Sale

"I can write, but I can't draw."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'