Contemporary Art Explorer T-Shirts

Exit sign wins first prize at an art gallery.

'It's the only piece here that I can understand. I don't care if it's the museum directory.'

"It's almost as if you can get lost in it, Timmy. Timmy?"

Art Supplies - Bad taste by numbers

Antony Gormley Exhibition.

Art Intimidates Art.

"Blank Canvas, White on White, Snow, Artist's Block....I don't know how he gets away with it!"

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Convenience.

The Rise of Modern Art

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Kid doing cave paintings

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Maria Sibylla Merian

Mammoth Posing

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

'Yes, but is it tart?'

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

Darwin's Evolving Statue.

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Antiques

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'