Fine Art Appreciator T-Shirts

'This has been a test of the museum's emergency broadcasting system. Had this been a real emergency, you would have been asked to make a donation.'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Misunderstood artist

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo, and the Art of Conversation

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Berta screams out!

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Artist on the Beach

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."