Fine Art Appreciator T-Shirts

'This has been a test of the museum's emergency broadcasting system. Had this been a real emergency, you would have been asked to make a donation.'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Misunderstood artist

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Berta screams out!

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Artist on the Beach

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

Leaves falling out of a painting.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Ariana Grande caricature

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

Coot on a jetty

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."