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"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Kid doing cave paintings

Rodin's Browser

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Convenience.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

Maria Sibylla Merian

Mammoth Posing

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Cover story: Picasso

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

"I can write, but I can't draw."

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

'Of course this makes your old masters al look now so very contrived.'

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

Antiques

"But is it content?"

'...And here's one of the artist's earliest paintings.'

The Big Picture

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."