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Museum Guard Portrait

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Rodin's Browser

Kid doing cave paintings

Convenience.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Mammoth Posing

Maria Sibylla Merian

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

Cover story: Picasso

"This exhibit made possible by Ugg and the generous donation of his cave."

A new case, Ernie...On a lark, two young girls broke into a museum and stole a half-dozen Peter Breugel paintings of Hades. Chicks nick six styx pics for kicks!

"Don't even think about it."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

Antiques

Clown Painting in Museum