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Museum Guard Portrait

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Rodin's Browser

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Kid doing cave paintings

Convenience.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Mammoth Posing

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Maria Sibylla Merian

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

"This exhibit made possible by Ugg and the generous donation of his cave."

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

"Don't even think about it."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

Clown Painting in Museum