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The Masters' Early Works.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Rodin's Browser

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Kid doing cave paintings

Convenience.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

Maria Sibylla Merian

Mammoth Posing

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Cover story: Picasso

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

"Don't even think about it."

"I can write, but I can't draw."