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Rodin's Balloon Landing

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

The Death Of Venus

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Hamlet. By William Shakespeare." Painting.

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"See that? He's the kind of peasant I detest."

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Petrarch

Pyramids exploding.

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

The Red Carpet

The Algonquin Round Table

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Monet in the '90s.

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

Tracey Emin's Bed

"This is a ritzy ski report - it's all fake snow."

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

Tilted painting

A new meaning in the Roman

Masterpiece?