Art Connoisseur T-Shirts

"But is it content?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

“I like this painting because it has a bench.”

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

"We have to move out – I just sold a painting."

"Oh, it's you."

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

1472 - Leonardo da Vinci never allowed anyone to watch him work.

Kandinsky's bar.

"No, we won't take Greek relic instead!"

Cover Design for Smither's 'Catalogue of Rare Books'

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

"I found this dying swan."

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Scene in museum with large bumble bee studying painting of flower by Georgia O'Keeffe.

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'

"No sir. That isn't the artist's telephone number. That's the price tag"

Painting of Hamburger. "This one's by Jack Owens, a starving artist from Ohio."

"I think it's some sort of ancient pizza-delivery guy."

Art Restoration

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

I want you to make it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Truman Capote

"Oh, yes. Definitely a forgery. Hope it didn't cost you much."

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

First Prize Rosette in Corner of Canvas.

'Pretend you're the Museum of Modern Art. Do you like it?'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

The Harlot's Progress - Quarrels with her Jew protector.

Hudibras - 1 - Frontispiece.

Men spying on bathing ladies