Art Connoisseur T-Shirts

"But is it content?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

“I like this painting because it has a bench.”

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

"We have to move out – I just sold a painting."

"Oh, it's you."

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

1472 - Leonardo da Vinci never allowed anyone to watch him work.

Cover Design for Smither's 'Catalogue of Rare Books'

Kandinsky's bar.

"I found this dying swan."

Scene in museum with large bumble bee studying painting of flower by Georgia O'Keeffe.

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

"No, we won't take Greek relic instead!"

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

First Prize Rosette in Corner of Canvas.

I want you to make it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom

'Pretend you're the Museum of Modern Art. Do you like it?'

"No sir. That isn't the artist's telephone number. That's the price tag"

Painting of Hamburger. "This one's by Jack Owens, a starving artist from Ohio."

"I think it's some sort of ancient pizza-delivery guy."

Art Restoration

"I still don't get this non-objective stuff."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"Well, you're no masterpiece yourself."

"See that? He's the kind of peasant I detest."

"They have extraordinary taste."

The Red Carpet