Finding New Home T-Shirts

'At least we have a roof over our heads.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Allotment

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"And this is our media room."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Rose Garden

Beach Barbecue

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Yardless: Please help

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Lazy Octopus

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'He does lack social skills.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"