Looking For A Home T-Shirts

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

"Yes, 650,- euro net rent is a pretty good price and it's a very nice house... By the way, I'm talkins about this house, sir."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Turtle Home

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

New Homes

"This place is cheap now, but rates go way up during hibernation season."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

Barbecue salesman pointing at cooker - "Top of the line."

"Hmmm, as far as I can gather, unfortunately, it is an eviction notice: we need to find a new home. . ."

"I'm looking for a house near the park."

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

'They've done wonders with Energy Efficiency!'

Valentines for Real Estate

Your dream home

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

'Yes, I know I told you only this morning that the property was within your price range....and this morning it was.'

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'

"I'm not casing this house - I'm coveting it."

"You are here"

"I love the exposed brick."

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'