Getting A New Home T-Shirts

"Can I pretend to help?"

It's a nice place to live, except for the nosy neighbors.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

LAY ZEE FUK

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Gardener

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Allotment

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."