Getting A New Home T-Shirts

"Can I pretend to help?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

LAY ZEE FUK

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Allotment

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Gardener

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."