Financially Conscious Patient Gifts

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'This is going to hurt, I'm afraid. . .I can't afford to pay.'

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."

Sam's Nation Building

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"That's the parents' section."

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'It says take all your medication,if you can afford it.'

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'The most common side effect of this medication is loss of disposable income.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."