Budget-conscious Healthcare Consumer Gifts

Operating for money

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

Garage Music

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Low income vampires.

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

Sam's Nation Building

Affordable housing

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'This is going to hurt, I'm afraid. . .I can't afford to pay.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

January Sales

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

Basic Shelter.

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"