Financial Whimsy Pillows

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

'Till debt do us part...'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'After reaching new heights, the stock market closed early due to an oubreak of acrophobia.'

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

'You overpaid, but it's not enough to cover the 'Overpayment Surcharge Tax'.'

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

More toxic assets.

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

"I think I finally understand inflation."

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

It's a joint loan, but don't tell my husband.

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

"Here's the sick squid I owe you. . ."