Whimsical Finance Pillows

Trojan Hurdler.

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

Cat chess

Spud dating.

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

'Sorry, lad, but I lost all me gold during the recession. All I can give ya is a buck thirty in change!'

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

Fat guy on a seesaw.

Business Fairy Tales.

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

' You're not going on the at risk register just because granny's got big teeth.'

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

'This is where we bring people we're thinking of hiring as decision makers.'

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

Blindman's blind guide dog with its own guide animal

'Can you be more specific? Are you pointing at IBM, IMCLONE, INTEL...?'

'You've got to help me, Doc -- My Diner's Club card is maxed out!'

'My husband will be able to pay you, as soon as he covers the call options he sold in the pet food aisle.'

Did you miss me?

Financial advice books for boomers.

'If these coins take root Sid, money really will grow on trees!'