Financial Times Fan Gifts

Bench for the Bankers.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

European currency on the edge.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Economy - USA.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

Greek Crisis

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"Good news on Wall Street today"

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'How much did you save this year?'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

Golden bubbles