Financial Pun Collector Gifts

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'The good news is it's not mad cow disease. You've got bad dow disease.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Fist Bumper Cars

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

This man is an island.

"There are two ways we can go here - bark or bite."

The Contrarian funds

How Romans give each other a high five...

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

Racketeer

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

Bell Hop

'It's a retrospective of Bernanke's most obtuse economic jargon...'

Ask Mister Buck: Financial Expert. "Dear Mister Buck, Is it true that 'money talks'?" Yes, and it drowns out everything else!

Spiv

"Butt cracker"

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

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