Finance Pun Enthusiast Gifts

Everybody knows about the bull and the bear but only a few know about the animal that really rules the markets.

"I'm down to a dollar eighty-seven, a key support level."

"Let's give out a big dividend for Christmas...we'll call it stockholders' stuffers."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"At least we're consistent ... "

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

The Decline of the Euro.

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

Who's taken the third quarter?

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'