Financial Prankster Pillows

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

'These are the financial records my dad doesn't show the government.'

"Did you make a wish?"

'The job will mostly involve the manufacture of 'imaginary numbers'.'

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

'Right, now put it all in my savings account.'

'The numbers should look better this quarter since they've been photoshopped.'

First Infidelity Investments

"May I please have a signed receipt so I can write off the loss on my taxes?"

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Yard Sale

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Checkmate!'

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

The Ascent of Man.

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

"Personally, I don't think the company's CEO and CFO should be making decisions by rock- paper-scissors!"

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'

"Rest assured we invest your money as if it were our own. Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

'The chairman finally notices me. I parked in his parking space.'

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

"The most important feature of economic predictions is trying not to laugh while making them."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'