Payday Prankster Pillows

'I'm giving you that company car you've been bugging me about. The car cost $21,745, which will be gradually taken out of your pay starting Friday.'

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Beach con-man.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

Clown Inhaling Laughing Gas

"I've decided to have a kid."

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'Just give me the computer password, Marie. I won't put any more embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook.'

Stag night high jinks.

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

Paratrooper landed in tree just as boy swinging at pinata.

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'

A Piñata has gone rogue during the celebrations at a Birthday party knocking out most of the Family members

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

These were Bob's colleagues, all right, but clearly they hadn't received Funny Fred's global e-mail.

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'