Financial Planners' Inside Jokes Gifts

'This IS our retirement plan.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'Crisis'

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

'Growing old gracefully ... But frantically trying to keep in step with the cost of living!'

The trouble with Black Friday...is the following In-the-Red Monday.

"This is your plan to pay for our retirement?!"

The cost of smoking

'I wish I had my money back...'

'I need a loan for a bypass. To bypass my wife. She holds the purse strings.'

'Would you like the correct time and temperature with your transaction?'

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'You have to spend money to make money, and Walter just HATES it.'

'His idea of planning for the future is buying two cases of beer.'

'Count your blessings, and then be sure to report all of them!'

'You have nothing to fear but fear itself... and my bill.'

'Can we afford to get up?'

When Financial Planners Go To Prison.

'I now handle the ultimate collection account: Robinson Crusoe.'

'We can lend you the money for a new house. But how will you repay it?'

Yeah, Fred's a real credit to the human race. He owes everyone.

'It's just embarrassing - someone steals my identity and improves my credit rating!'

"On the other hand, given your risk tolerance, you might prefer our Post-Apocalyptic Plan."

Let's Go Out!

'It's tough living on a fixed income.'

'Would you care to settle the matter of your loan with a penalty shoot-out?'

"If you want to maintain your standard of living after retirement, you should really consider a personal pension."

Electric Price Shock

"I've just had mine repossessed..."

'The trouble is, my wife laughs all the way from the bank.'