Financial Lingo Lover Gifts

'I'm afraid we never use the 'I' word around here...'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

The Bullish World

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"I thought I'd done everything necessary to guarantee us a decent pension..."

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

Man with a Plan

'Your in great shape...'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

We all know we're up against a new ball game, a paradigm shift and a game changer, but luckily the cliches remain the same.

"No time for sound bites. Just give me a couple of sound nibbles."