Financial Humor Appreciator Pillows

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

God bless our home equity line of credit.

'But, you see, it is a balanced fund. Some of the stocks are excellent, and others are just plain lousy.'

'Any other revenue sources besides 'royalty income'?'

'Last month when I was £50 in credit, did I phone you up?'

'All of you get your hands in the air and give me all your money!'

"...Squawk! Loan application not approved... Loan application not approved!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

The Decline of the Euro.

In case of falling markets break glass.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'