Finance Humor Appreciator Pillows

'Bain Capital? Never heard of it. Foreign accounts? What are those?'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Will work for ETFs

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

The Decline of the Euro.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.