Financial Humor Aficionados Pillows

In a Kitchen Cupboard, somewhere on Wall St...fortunes changed!!

Rates Below Zero

'...we just got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.'

'Final Notice, Final Notice, Final Notice. Why is there never a Next to Last Notice?'

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Will work for ETFs

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Money Bar.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

Jumping Wall Street.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.