Financial Gain Enthusiast Gifts

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Annual profits,

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'