Financial Controller Gifts

"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."

"I think this new financial controller is going to be trouble..."

'I think we might have to find some money to do something about the office heating...'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Will work for ETFs

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

E.U. Banking Union.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

A Day In The Kitchen

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Why do you need so many computers?

The stages of gentrification: a guide

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.