Financial Attorney Gifts

'All he wants is one more chance to prove to you that he can make $750,000 a year.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'That's our mission statement.'

Jack of all trades

Profit

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."