Financial Attorney Gifts

'All he wants is one more chance to prove to you that he can make $750,000 a year.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

British savings accounts

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Jack of all trades

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."