Financial Lawyer Gifts

'The good news is that your nest egg is in tip-top shade...the bad news is that our fees are going to send you bankrupt!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Profit

Spot the difference.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

E.U. Banking Union.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Soaring Profits

The Greek Trampoline

Flat tax - equal burden?

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'This year, executive bonuses are tied to performance. You owe us $50,000.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'