Financial Lawyer Gifts

'The good news is that your nest egg is in tip-top shade...the bad news is that our fees are going to send you bankrupt!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Profit

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Spot the difference.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

E.U. Banking Union.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

Flat tax - equal burden?

The Greek Trampoline

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Soaring Profits

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'This year, executive bonuses are tied to performance. You owe us $50,000.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."