Financial Worker Gifts

City Redundancies - In? Out?

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Spot the difference.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

The Greek Trampoline

Soaring Profits

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'This year, executive bonuses are tied to performance. You owe us $50,000.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

The stages of gentrification: a guide

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"