Financial Advisors Gifts

Build Your Own Portfolio

'What I'm challenging this group to do, then, is to redirect our shared passion for the idea of making money into actually making money!'

'Not scared yet? Just wait until I get to Chapter 11!'

'I'm exploring another revenue stream.'

'Our certificate of Deposit Interest rates may seem low, but I assure you, they are better than anything you can get by leaving your savings under the mattress.'

'As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics.'

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

'Help! I ran my business like a government.'

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

"...if you set aside 2% of your salary for your pension you can retire at 97."

Man asking a clairvoyant about the future.

'My 4 year old granddaughter received a credit card application last week. I want to know why it wasn't ours!'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"Whoever guesses which cup the college tuition is under, gets it."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'Remember, it's not a lie if it makes us money.'

Think Tank, we are looking to hire 'free thinkers' because our budget has been cut.

'If things don't improve, we'll have to close 3 plants and lay off 50 employees or ask you to live a little more simply.'

'This mattress fits up to $120,000 dollars.'

'You seem to be raking in a lot of money.' 'I didn't realize I planted it in pay dirt.'

"There's a plus side to the credit crunch...My 'lenders elbow' has cleared up!"

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

'I see you have no collateral.'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"Now I know this one's expensive, but just think how much negative equity you'll have to brag about when the market crashes."

The Tooth Accountant

No we don't have a retirement plan, but we give you time off to buy lottery tickets...

See no evil...hear no evil..SEC wouldn't recognise evil if it came and sat on his face.

"I'm taking no chances, I've invested everything in gold."

'I be a spokesman for Barclays bank, and i'm telling you it'll be many a year before you can trust us again.'

'Fortunately, our decline was slowed here when the marker ran dry.'

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

'Right. Making money in the stock market isn't everything... that leaves bonds.'