Finance Advisor Gifts

"It's only by cultivating a deep mutual trusting relationship with clients that you'll get the chance to shaft them more than once!"

"I checked your credit score... the best I can do for you today is this can of New Car Smell."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Building has etched in stone above it: 'Education', 'Tradition', 'Financing'

Campaign Spending

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

I can offer finance at £400/month for 2 years. - 'Eh?! The car's only worth £6,000' - 'Okay, I'll reduce it to £300/month...' - 'That's more like it.' - '...over 3 years. Heh, heh...' - 'Gah.'

Lemonade Futures

'The car dealership is letting me buy an expensive sports car, one piece at a time. I decided to buy the steering wheel first.'

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

While we watched the Trump circus... In the middle of the night the GOP controlled Congress took away your right to hold the big banks accountable when they rip you off!

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

'You can't take it with you even if you DO have a super-secure money belt!'

'However, I hear the private sector is doing fine!'

"I know what! - How about you stimulate my economy, and I stimulate yours?"

"I just think the government would save a lot of money if they livestreamed school."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

British savings accounts

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The day the stock market went UP.

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."