Financial Analysis Gifts

'How close to the truth do you want to come, sir?'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"Big surprise. That cost/benefit analysis cost up more than any benefit we've ever gotten from it."

Board Meeting

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Well, the books balance - assets and liabilities match to the penny."

'All right, I got a pencil. Now, how do you figure the P/E ratio again?'

Destitute businessman: 'Played by the rules.'

The Art of Economic Analysis.

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'I get it, but I'm an accountant. When you explain it to the board of directors, try to demystify the process.'

'We have learned that prediction of future market trends is very difficult. We are, however, very good at explaining past market trends.'

Up please...

Welcome Stockholders: The Lynching

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

Fluctating Graph.

Indicators - "Sorry, Crossley, I'm not happy - I can feel it in my bones."

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

I'm pinning up next year's chart. You've got high hopes.

Beware of the 4th Quarter

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'...But the good news is TV ads have been promoting the idea that money isn't everything.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Your report captures the long and short of it, O'Toole; but it's lacking in breadth and depth.'

American Airlines Files Bankruptcy

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'The one on the left is a beverage analyst for Huff & Swoon, and the one on the right is a drunk; or is it the other way around?'

'Stocks and bonds dropped...on news that 'all that glitters is not gold'.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

"We need to be more nimble and quick."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."