Credit Analysis Gifts

'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Reading my Critics

Cut Price

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

Six Thinking Hats

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

U.S. Credit Rating

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

Standard And P****d.

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

'Wait a minute....!

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"