Financial Audit Gifts

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"All economic hope abandon ye who enter here."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

The president's men

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Mario Draghi

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Spot the difference.