Financial Auditor Gifts

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

"Maybe you should have hired an accountant to check your return twice."

"We're the I.R.S. We don't let bygones be bygones."

"The alert status for corporate accounting fraud remains steady at orange."

"You want the bookkeeper? Let me put you through to our creative department."

"And to end my presentation, here's a film clip of accounting department bloopers."

'There's a gentleman here for a cleaning, Doctor. It's unclear whose.'

'This can't be good!'

'Everything was fine until you insisted on transparent accounting!'

"Step in here Kimble, I'd like a word with you about your expense account."

Inland Revenue Area 4 - "If they are honest mistakes, how come they're all in your favour."

Keep Every Buck

"I see you've been social distancing from fully declaring your income."

Panama Papers Scandal

'As it turns out, the I.R.S. guy here to see you is just Irwin R. Schwartz.'

'Well, okay. But I hope you'll be declaring this on your next tax return.'

This could get you the Nobel Prize for fiction.

Tax Inspector Hugh Fibber

'How far back did the IRS want to go on my last audit? Let's just say I had to have one of the returns carbon-dated.'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

"You are absolutely right! We have taxed you too high, but it's counterbalanced by the fine you get for pointing out our mistake."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'