Business Audit Gifts

"Of course I didn't throw out all the receipts on purpose, and how was I to know we were going to be audited."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Panama Papers Scandal

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

IRS Audit Section

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Counting dollars

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

Bookkeeping Club

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

Corporate thinking.

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

Monster under the bed.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"